I’m strong and frail

Depending on who is asking

Who is listening to the text and subtext

And who is listening

only for

what they are listening for

.

Who catches the hesitations in my sentences

The eyes dropped at a certain moment

The laughter I offer

To ease our tension

To assure us we can still laugh

.

Good news and bad news

Offered in a single serving

I don’t know what I am tasting

Or how to share

This bittersweet

Vomit, but be grateful

.

I’m a winner here

And a loser

I treasure my elusive prizes

And am not sure yet

What exactly I’ve lost

Though I already feel its absence

.

Surrounded by love

And so alone

I barely know

The depths of my own heart

In this season of untraversed days

.

I want levity and depth

Cheer and grieving

Honesty and avoidance

I want it all

.

What a strange and unfamiliar world

And yet this is

How it has always been

.

But will not always be