It was arguably one of my top three most chaotic and stressful shifts as a charge nurse in our PICU. Within the first two hours of the shift, a patient we thought to be relatively stable had completely decompensated and remained on the verge for hours of being put on ECMO, a heart-lung machine for … Continue reading The Cost and Reward of Saving a Life
How Much Emotion in Nursing is Too Much?
On the surface, when nurses first start out in our career, we have a vague and admittedly idealized sense of how compassion will always be a core driver in why and how we care for our patients. But we quickly discover that navigating our emotions over our work is fraught with complexity and mixed messages, … Continue reading How Much Emotion in Nursing is Too Much?
New Guest Post for AJN: Is it Possible to Delight in the Work of Nursing?
Most everyone I talk to these days agrees that it feels harder than ever to be a nurse. In some ways, the very title itself of my latest guest post for American Journal of Nursing may signal that I'm out of touch or too Polyannish. But hear me out, and if you have five minutes, … Continue reading New Guest Post for AJN: Is it Possible to Delight in the Work of Nursing?
Caring for Non-Accidental Traumas as a PICU Nurse
Whenever the child abuse cases, or “non-accidental traumas (NATs)” come into our unit, a very tender unsettledness, laced with anger, descends upon all the staff. We hate all kinds of suffering that our little patients endure, but the suffering that comes with intent and disregard from the hands of the very adults who are supposed … Continue reading Caring for Non-Accidental Traumas as a PICU Nurse
UCLA AACN Presentation – The Patient Perspective: The View from the Other Side of the Bed
I didn’t expect so much emotion to surface while preparing for this upcoming presentation. I keep weeping through my run-throughs because I can still barely believe this all happened, and it's so hard to give words to the real things. I’m revisiting our year of health crises (which, let’s be honest, continues to reverberate into … Continue reading UCLA AACN Presentation – The Patient Perspective: The View from the Other Side of the Bed
The Practice of Personal Retreats for Endurance in Nursing
When I talk with nurses about the experience of professional grief, I often use the analogy of freight trucks that are built to carry particularly heavy loads. As tough and admirable as they are for their strength, they still each ultimately have a weight limit that needs to be heeded, if the trucks are going … Continue reading The Practice of Personal Retreats for Endurance in Nursing
Imagining a World Without Nurses
When I think of a world without nurses, I think of a young child who has spent *years* in our unit, parents not yet able to bring them home because of such complex medical needs, who wouldn't have the everyday care and companionship they get from the around-the-clock nurses who know them now so well. … Continue reading Imagining a World Without Nurses
Captain of the Ship: On Being PICU Charge Nurse in a Stormy Season
I sat at the helm in a swirl of chaos captain of the ship for the day coming dangerously close to bringing too much weight on board * lives on the verge of going under we were trying our best to bring them to shore to steadier ground to brighter days * and to keep … Continue reading Captain of the Ship: On Being PICU Charge Nurse in a Stormy Season
Sharing in the Loneliness of Extraordinary Suffering: A Nurse’s Quiet Burden
We had all just started our shift when the code bells alarmed. We ran to the room, and someone was already performing CPR. After several rounds, our Attending Physician sadly announced the time of death and we braced ourselves for the mom's agonizing screams. Our chaplain, social worker, respiratory therapist, care partners, and physician colleagues … Continue reading Sharing in the Loneliness of Extraordinary Suffering: A Nurse’s Quiet Burden
From a Fellow ICU Nurse: Honoring Alex Pretti
Alex Pretti was an ICU nurse, just like me. We ICU nurses look at life and all its darkest shadows with eyes wide open, and close up, bearing regular, intimate witness to the multitude of tragedies that befall people. We go to them, think about them, and we think about our lives and our role … Continue reading From a Fellow ICU Nurse: Honoring Alex Pretti
