When I was first getting my diagnostic mammogram, ultrasound, and ultimately biopsy for the lump I’d found, I remember being so struck by how busy the breast clinic was. The women sitting in the clinic were of varying ages and ethnic backgrounds, with differing clothing and hairstyles giving clues to our personalities. But one by … Continue reading Seen from the Outside In and Inside Out
The Call that Shifted Me from Nurse to Patient
"The results of your biopsy are back. Unfortunately, it is invasive ductal carcinoma." "Ok.... ok." I immediately felt hugely detached from myself, as though I was watching the person holding her cell phone, reaching for a chair to steady herself. It was like watching that pivotal scene in the movie where the audience gasps and … Continue reading The Call that Shifted Me from Nurse to Patient
An ICU Nurse’s Complicated Relationship with the Turn of the New Year
I wrote a post around Thanksgiving about the strange chasm between holiday bliss and hospital grief. After that post, our unit entered into a stormy December when we saw one tiny human go from just so new to the world, to an everything-altering diagnosis, to sick but cute and alert, to crashing onto ECMO and … Continue reading An ICU Nurse’s Complicated Relationship with the Turn of the New Year
Wrestling Hard with Why I Stay
Yesterday, I was in a space with a group of healthcare workers exploring the topic of "Why I Stay." I hoped for some inspiration, some rekindling or stoking of a fire that feels in danger of being extinguished. It was a sobering slap of reality to hear more unexpected silence than active engagement in the … Continue reading Wrestling Hard with Why I Stay
PICU Nursing, Dec 2022: A Day in the Life
I was supposed to be charge nurse yesterday. But because staffing remained incredibly tight, and we had some extraordinarily sick patients in our unit right now (four on CVVH, a nurse-driven specialized form of slow dialysis; and one little baby on ECMO, the ultimate heart-lung machine for the sickest of patients), one of our wonderfully … Continue reading PICU Nursing, Dec 2022: A Day in the Life
The Chasm Between Holiday Glory and Hospital Grief
Saturday, November 26 Saturday is my usual work day in the pediatric ICU. This particular Saturday falls on Thanksgiving weekend, so my social media feed is full of everyone’s festive family gatherings around a table overflowing with food and drink. I post my own. This is living! So much to be thankful for! Yes to … Continue reading The Chasm Between Holiday Glory and Hospital Grief
Podcast Episode for Grief is a Sneaky B!tch: Human, Not Superhero
The superhero narrative has been and continues to be prevalent when referring to healthcare workers, and not for terrible reasons per se. Healthcare workers are some of the toughest people I know. I have deep respect for each one of my colleagues, for their fortitude and capacity to bear extraordinary burdens, experiences and responsibilities on … Continue reading Podcast Episode for Grief is a Sneaky B!tch: Human, Not Superhero
Putting a Self-Respecting Foot Down for Rest
It’s been quieter on this space than I’d like it to be, but that’s because it’s been an exceptionally full year of speaking – conferences, webinars and most recently (and *so* enjoyably!), podcasts. After my podcast episode with the lovely Chris and Claire Sandys from The Silent Why on “Loss of Health and Life in … Continue reading Putting a Self-Respecting Foot Down for Rest
Podcast Episode about PICU Nursing with “The Silent Why” is Now Live!
I am overjoyed to finally be able to share this podcast episode with the world. Claire and Chris Sandys reached out to me all the way from England earlier this year to invite me to record a conversation with them, where we go in deep about my work as a pediatric ICU nurse. They are … Continue reading Podcast Episode about PICU Nursing with “The Silent Why” is Now Live!
New Blog Post for AJN: Primary Nursing of Medically Complex Children in the ICU Increases Parental Trust
I’ve been wanting to write about the experiences and struggles the healthcare community can face when we take care of medically complex kids who often have severe developmental disabilities. This blog post for American Journal of Nursing is finally that post, with a lot of vulnerable honesty. But the blessing here is that I am … Continue reading New Blog Post for AJN: Primary Nursing of Medically Complex Children in the ICU Increases Parental Trust
The Heart of Nursing 