We had all just started our shift when the code bells alarmed. We ran to the room, and someone was already performing CPR. After several rounds, our Attending Physician sadly announced the time of death and we braced ourselves for the mom's agonizing screams. Our chaplain, social worker, respiratory therapist, care partners, and physician colleagues … Continue reading Sharing in the Loneliness of Extraordinary Suffering: A Nurse’s Quiet Burden
self care
The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
I would venture to say that two attributes we all have in common in the pediatric ICU (and nursing in general) are our affinity to be problem-solvers in tough situations, and to be comforters to the suffering. These attributes are what make us all so good at our jobs. They likely also exacerbate our distress … Continue reading The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
A Note from/for the Weary Nurse, April 2025
It's been hard to write. But I put this down on another social media site, and thought I would share it here. We are not just nurse-robots that come to work. We are whole people, carrying other burdens on our shoulders from our personal lives, trying to show up the best we can for our … Continue reading A Note from/for the Weary Nurse, April 2025
On Collective, Systemic Grief as an ICU Nurse
Those who have been following my public work over the years know that it started off with a desire to bring voice to - and integrate - the individual grief that we carry on behalf of our patients. When COVID hit, nurses began to grapple with entirely different levels of grief. Particularly for my incredible … Continue reading On Collective, Systemic Grief as an ICU Nurse
The Perils of Rushed Listening and Overeager Attempts to Fix Grief
The other day, I met up for a casual coffee with a lovely friend who is not in the healthcare realm. As it goes in catching up with friends, I was trying to give the summarized version of how life has been this past year on both a personal and professional level. I briefly alluded … Continue reading The Perils of Rushed Listening and Overeager Attempts to Fix Grief
Self Care: The Value of Solitude and Introspection
In all my 14 years of PICU nursing, I've never quite experienced the overlapping volume and intensity of suffering, moral distress amongst nurses, death, and anger from patients' families that our unit experienced this past August - October. The bike accident that snuffed out a teenage life in a moment. The newly diagnosed cancer patient … Continue reading Self Care: The Value of Solitude and Introspection
Reckless Politics and the Potential for Profound Harm in Healthcare
I have little desire to turn this space into a forum for political arguments. That said, we are barely recovered as individual healthcare workers, a healthcare system, and a country, from the pandemic and some of the political mishandlings that happened during the pandemic. Healthcare has never been easy, but we all have felt the … Continue reading Reckless Politics and the Potential for Profound Harm in Healthcare
Podcast Episode with Muted in Medicine: Professional Grief
I so loved this podcast conversation with Saba Fatima, a pediatrician I had the joy of getting to know through the Columbia University Narrative Medicine certification program. Our shared love of pediatrics, storytelling and preserving humanity in healthcare really bonded us as we dove into this conversation about professional grief, for her incredible new podcast, … Continue reading Podcast Episode with Muted in Medicine: Professional Grief
What is Professional Grief?
I had a wonderful podcast interview last week with a pediatrician who wanted to explore the topic of professional grief in healthcare, and that made me think it would be good to write a new post with some refreshed thoughts on the topic. What are we referring to when we talk about professional grief? There … Continue reading What is Professional Grief?
The Tensions We Constantly Navigate as Healthcare Workers
My therapist recently noted how much inner work and wrestling I must be constantly doing as a nurse, without being fully aware of what is rumbling underneath the surface. Today I find myself feeling really tender, and I’ve got a feeling it’s because of the recent accumulation of patient stories that have gone unpacked, evoking … Continue reading The Tensions We Constantly Navigate as Healthcare Workers
The Heart of Nursing 