I'm strong and frail Depending on who is asking Who is listening to the text and subtext And who is listening only for what they are listening for . Who catches the hesitations in my sentences The eyes dropped at a certain moment The laughter I offer To ease our tension To assure us we … Continue reading the liminal space of serious illness with good prognosis
grief
Finishing Radiation: Waiting Room Story #2
Because radiation is a therapy that happens every day for weeks, you start to see some of the same people in the waiting room as your schedules overlap. I kept to myself but I certainly did notice a few faces that became a little more familiar, particularly those who would be leaving just as I … Continue reading Finishing Radiation: Waiting Room Story #2
Join Me at the End Well Symposium this November!
I am beyond thrilled to be speaking at the End Well Symposium in Los Angeles this November. I’m so grateful for their focus on pediatrics this year. It is a population that evokes particularly tender emotions when we talk about end of life, because goodness, they're only just getting started. It is a tremendous privilege to be … Continue reading Join Me at the End Well Symposium this November!
Podcast Interview on The Apologies Podcast Airs Tomorrow!
I first had the pleasure of meeting Emmy Award-winning producer, Lindsey Whissel Fenton, when she invited me to be a panelist for her Speaking Grief webinar on "Minimizing Burnout in Death Care Professionals." Her deep empathy and curiosity about the deep and honest things that make us human shine through her work, and I am … Continue reading Podcast Interview on The Apologies Podcast Airs Tomorrow!
On Humility and Reading the Room
Yesterday I was talking with another nurse about a wonderfully vivacious coworker who used to work night shift in our unit years ago. She had a way about her where she could create easy conversation with any patient and family member, shine a bright smile and lighten the mood of just about any room. We … Continue reading On Humility and Reading the Room
The Call that Shifted Me from Nurse to Patient
"The results of your biopsy are back. Unfortunately, it is invasive ductal carcinoma." "Ok.... ok." I immediately felt hugely detached from myself, as though I was watching the person holding her cell phone, reaching for a chair to steady herself. It was like watching that pivotal scene in the movie where the audience gasps and … Continue reading The Call that Shifted Me from Nurse to Patient
An ICU Nurse’s Complicated Relationship with the Turn of the New Year
I wrote a post around Thanksgiving about the strange chasm between holiday bliss and hospital grief. After that post, our unit entered into a stormy December when we saw one tiny human go from just so new to the world, to an everything-altering diagnosis, to sick but cute and alert, to crashing onto ECMO and … Continue reading An ICU Nurse’s Complicated Relationship with the Turn of the New Year
Wrestling Hard with Why I Stay
Yesterday, I was in a space with a group of healthcare workers exploring the topic of "Why I Stay." I hoped for some inspiration, some rekindling or stoking of a fire that feels in danger of being extinguished. It was a sobering slap of reality to hear more unexpected silence than active engagement in the … Continue reading Wrestling Hard with Why I Stay
The Chasm Between Holiday Glory and Hospital Grief
Saturday, November 26 Saturday is my usual work day in the pediatric ICU. This particular Saturday falls on Thanksgiving weekend, so my social media feed is full of everyone’s festive family gatherings around a table overflowing with food and drink. I post my own. This is living! So much to be thankful for! Yes to … Continue reading The Chasm Between Holiday Glory and Hospital Grief
Podcast Episode for Grief is a Sneaky B!tch: Human, Not Superhero
The superhero narrative has been and continues to be prevalent when referring to healthcare workers, and not for terrible reasons per se. Healthcare workers are some of the toughest people I know. I have deep respect for each one of my colleagues, for their fortitude and capacity to bear extraordinary burdens, experiences and responsibilities on … Continue reading Podcast Episode for Grief is a Sneaky B!tch: Human, Not Superhero
The Heart of Nursing 