I am in a position of power as a pediatric ICU nurse. I can hold a wriggly patient down, poke him with needles, insert tubes into her nose. I can give or withhold food to a hungry child per a doctor’s orders. I can abruptly wake my patient from much-needed sleep at any time, day … Continue reading Stewarding Power as a Nurse
Christian nursing
A Letter from a Christian PICU Nurse to the Western Christian Church
To my Western Christian brothers and sisters, I come to you as a fellow Christian and as a pediatric ICU nurse with a burden and a plea. I come to you as someone who knew in theory and through some personal experience before I became a nurse, that this world can be cruel and unfair. … Continue reading A Letter from a Christian PICU Nurse to the Western Christian Church
Holding Space for Rhythms of Professional Grief: Part 2 of 2
In my last blog post, I shared my short-term response to the common questions I get as a pediatric ICU nurse, “How do you deal with all the sad things you encounter at work? How do you separate your personal life from your work life? How do you stay in that environment and not completely … Continue reading Holding Space for Rhythms of Professional Grief: Part 2 of 2
Holding Space for Rhythms of Professional Grief: Part 1 of 2
From time to time, people will ask me how I deal with the saddest, hardest patient cases I encounter as a pediatric ICU nurse. Related questions also take the form of, “How do you separate your personal life from your work life?” or “How do you keep working in an environment with so much suffering … Continue reading Holding Space for Rhythms of Professional Grief: Part 1 of 2
Bringing the Voice of Grief into the Room
Because of the nature of events that precipitate grief, we often understandably believe that the voice of grief is one dimensional – dark and intensely oppressive, and therefore unwelcome in the room. There is no denying that it can feel this way in its sharpest moments. Even in its gentler moments, it’s still hugely uncomfortable. … Continue reading Bringing the Voice of Grief into the Room
Grief and the Good and Hopeful Life
In my last blog post, I took a birds-eye view with some thoughts on why we don’t know what to do with grief. I’m not trying to talk us out of grief by rationalizing. It only makes sense that we don’t readily know what to do with grief. It can hurt like hell. Its existence … Continue reading Grief and the Good and Hopeful Life
Finding God in the Wild Crash between Motherhood and PICU Nursing
I needed to walk the dog, and the kids were reluctant to join me. I had to sternly remind them that if they wanted this dog, then they needed to fully participate in taking care of him. I was annoyed. The demands of and feelings about motherhood this past year have crashed wildly with the … Continue reading Finding God in the Wild Crash between Motherhood and PICU Nursing
New Blog Post for AJN: How I Would Prepare my Daughter to Become a Nurse
My kids have been asking me surprisingly specific questions about my work as a nurse lately. I really enjoyed writing this blog post for American Journal of Nursing because God knows the two occupations that have consumed my days and thoughts this past year have been nursing and motherhood. And at the end of the … Continue reading New Blog Post for AJN: How I Would Prepare my Daughter to Become a Nurse
Anchor for the Years
Ten years into being a pediatric ICU nurse, I find I still grieve the saddest patient cases the same way I did from day one. It hits the day after with unpredictable tears, and I'm discombobulated as I try to reorient myself to my "normal" life and all its demands on me as mama, while … Continue reading Anchor for the Years
Columbia University Narrative Medicine Volvox Presentation
Please join me, the editors of "The Healer's Burden: Stories and Poems of Professional Grief," and two other contributors to the book, Lara Ronan and Rondalyn Varney Whitney, for a virtual panel discussion in the upcoming Columbia University Narrative Medicine Volvox Presentation on Wednesday, October 28th, 2020, from 7-9 pm EST / 5-7 pm PST. … Continue reading Columbia University Narrative Medicine Volvox Presentation
The Heart of Nursing 