At the start of this politically tumultuous 2025, I felt I needed to learn to have conversations with people who think very differently than me. As strong as my convictions were about plenty of things, I knew I needed to remember the humanity of people who have vastly different perspectives than mine. 

I also frankly didn’t want to have these conversations. They felt intimidating and complicated, and I was afraid they were only going to stir up more frustration inside of me.

One day, the “Breaking News” headline came through my email box announcing that RFK Jr. had been confirmed as head of the Department of Health and Human Services. I groaned and rubbed my temples. Work had already been so stressful with such high acuity patients and tight staffing, and I felt gutted at the thought of such a controversial figure taking the helm of healthcare in our country. 

Then another email came in, this one from John and Nancy (not real identifiers), a couple from my kids’ school whom I don’t know especially well, but have enjoyed the occasional conversation with over the years. They knew I was a pediatric nurse. I knew they were pro-Trump and were very skeptical of vaccines. I also remembered them texting a group of us parents, one day after we had been talking outside together during the COVID years. “We just found out we are both COVID positive. We are SO sorry if we exposed you. We took a lot of vitamins and are doing ok, and hope you all are ok too.” I remember them being genuinely considerate of the group.

They were reaching out to me because they were pregnant with their first baby. Their doctor had just told them that Nancy and her baby had Rh incompatibility, and recommended that Nancy get the RhoGAM shot. Without the RhoGAM antibody, she as an Rh- blood type would have a 17% chance of developing an immune response against future Rh+ children that could result in hemolytic anemia or other serious complications for them.

They wanted counsel from a Christian healthcare professional who wouldn’t judge them for their position on vaccines, and knew this might be difficult to find. But they needed clarity and needed to make a decision about RhoGAM soon. Nancy’s due date was a month away, and the shot is typically given within 72 hours following delivery.

Their questions for me were twofold: 1) What is the extraction and purification process for the RhoGAM antibody? 2) Is there any chance that antibodies produced in response to the COVID vaccine might be present in the RhoGAM shot, if any of the donors had been vaccinated?

I wasn’t sure I was going to be the right person to reply. I had strong emotions about all the vaccine debates since COVID times, and wondered if I’d be able to rein them in enough to have a fair and open conversation. I believed fully in the safety of the COVID vaccine, and John and Nancy clearly felt differently. I wondered for a moment if this might be an opportunity for me to “educate” them about it, but I quickly concluded this wasn’t the purpose of their inquiry, and they’d likely been through plenty of those uncomfortable conversations already. 

I finally decided that I had an opportunity to be a safe place for John and Nancy to process their questions. If I could navigate it with humility and wisdom, I might be able to help ensure the well-being of their future babies, and I could also spare them from unnecessary suffering as parents. 

And so, I replied via email that I would be willing to research their questions and provide as clear of an answer as possible without any agenda, and that I remained open to hearing all their questions and concerns along the way. John texted me soon after I sent the email, saying, “Thank you so much for being willing to hear us out.” 

With the help of a friend who works as a virologist at the CDC, I got hold of the patent for RhoGAM and studied the step-by-step extraction and purification process. This brought me back to my college days when I was a microbiology major, and I found myself incredibly intrigued by the intricate process by which scientists ensure as pure an antibody as possible with RhoGAM.

I summarized this process with a good amount of detail per John and Nancy’s request, while trying to make it as lay-friendly as possible. Would it be enough information for them? Or would the level of detail possibly backfire, being so complicated that it might actually stoke more unease? All I could do was try, and offer myself as a willing resource to do further investigation if needed.

I then had to tackle their second question, regarding their concerns that there might be some antibodies induced from a COVID vaccine, also present in the RhoGAM shot.

Do I launch into a soapbox explanation about why this is perfectly safe, and shame them for having this concern? This would do nothing for building trust and safety for our friendship in general, and for the RhoGAM conversation in particular. Do I gloss over this question and just say there is nothing at all to worry about? This might be the easier approach in the moment, but a quick search for more info would show them I was just being lazy and ultimately not trustworthy. My virologist friend had read the patent and said he couldn’t conclude there were zero COVID antibodies. 

Even if the presence of these antibodies was not a fear for me, it was a real fear for them, and it seemed to be the main impediment to them moving forward with the RhoGAM shot. 

I had to acknowledge their fear, while recognizing I wouldn’t be able (or necessarily required) to talk them out of it in this particular conversation. I could not be dishonest. I had to also acknowledge that those COVID vaccine antibodies might be present in trace amounts in RhoGAM. 

All I could do was frame this in a way that might helpfully help bring enough peace of mind so that they could still move forward with RhoGAM.

So this was my reply to their second question:

“The research, and the fine print on the Rhogam product label itself, acknowledge that Rhogam may contain a small quantity of IgA, but the quantity is determined to be clinically insignificant.

The COVID vaccine induces an IgG and IgA response in people who get it. So I think there is a miniscule chance that the Rhogam shot might contain antibodies that a donor produced in response to the COVID vaccine.

But I think of this like… us living in West LA, breathing some of the air that has come out of the Pacific Palisades fire. Did we have concerns that something undesirable to us might be entering our bodies? Yes. But it was so distilled from where we are down here, so dispersed out in that big open sky, that we are just fine.

 As your friend, your sister in Christ, and as a pediatric ICU nurse, to read that Rh- mothers have a 17% chance of launching an immune response against their own Rh+ children if they don’t get the RhoGAM shot, I just don’t ever want to see you have to experience this kind of hardship if you don’t have to. 

RhoGAM has been around since the 1960s, and has been so highly effective in preventing this complication. I have a 100% clear conscience and a deeply loving heart in recommending the RhoGAM shot to you.

If you have more questions about the above, I am truly happy to try to answer them, do more research, or find people smarter than me who can address any additional questions. But from my vantage point, I think RhoGAM is an incredible gift of God through science, and I think the chance of exposure to COVID-vaccine antibodies is so low, I truly feel that your hearts and minds can be at peace with RhoGAM.”

About an hour after I sent the email, John texted me, “I really appreciate the hard work you put into summarizing the process.” He was thoughtful enough to give me a heads up that I might not hear back from Nancy right away, but only because she was overwhelmed and exhausted with trying to get everything ready; the silence was not personal.

I was touched by both his gratitude and his sensitivity to the dynamics of our conversation. It was so kind.

I don’t know which way they will decide. I hope they feel assured enough to go forward with RhoGAM. I hope they have a beautiful, flourishing family. 

But for today, I feel incredibly grateful for what I learned through this process. In a time when there is so much chaos, bitterness and contention, I want to weep today with gratitude that somehow, John, Nancy and I still found a way to have a perfectly civil, kind, respectful conversation that acknowledged our shared desire for a good future ahead. I am touched by the trust and vulnerability they extended to me. I’m not so naive to think that there aren’t still real differences, but I am comforted that these conversations are possible – maybe not with everyone, but at least with some. I can’t fix or change everything going on in the world, but maybe was able to help John and Nancy have healthier children and a more stable family future. I am comforted that maybe we as a people can still find a way forward together.