I wrote a post around Thanksgiving about the strange chasm between holiday bliss and hospital grief. After that post, our unit entered into a stormy December when we saw one tiny human go from just so new to the world, to an everything-altering diagnosis, to sick but cute and alert, to crashing onto ECMO and … Continue reading An ICU Nurse’s Complicated Relationship with the Turn of the New Year
Yesterday, I was in a space with a group of healthcare workers exploring the topic of "Why I Stay." I hoped for some inspiration, some rekindling or stoking of a fire that feels in danger of being extinguished. It was a sobering slap of reality to hear more unexpected silence than active engagement in the … Continue reading Wrestling Hard with Why I Stay
The superhero narrative has been and continues to be prevalent when referring to healthcare workers, and not for terrible reasons per se. Healthcare workers are some of the toughest people I know. I have deep respect for each one of my colleagues, for their fortitude and capacity to bear extraordinary burdens, experiences and responsibilities on … Continue reading Podcast Episode for Grief is a Sneaky B!tch: Human, Not Superhero
Months to Years is a beautiful online literary journal, filled with pieces that courageously and tenderly address the issues of mortality and terminal illness. My piece, "A Story of a Good Mom," is now live in their current Summer 2022 issue. Working in pediatric ICU nursing as a mother myself to school-aged children, the parents' … Continue reading Published piece in “Months to Years”: A Story of a Good Mom
You came with a list of diagnoses that came with a list of stipulations that came with a list of medications that came with a list of how to give them for this stipulation or that one of the list of diagnoses. You came with a knack for Legos and a passion for online gaming … Continue reading a goodbye poem, to the one we will never forget.
By nature, a pediatric ICU sits heavy about 95% of the time. That's held true, and then some, for what's going on in our unit this week. But once in awhile, we can have fun too, and with the backdrop of such heaviness and grief, I cherish those light moments all the more. Here are … Continue reading A Mini Collection of Lighter Moments
There's obvious stress that comes with the ongoing short staffing issues in nursing, but as I wrote this latest blog post for American Journal of Nursing, I realized my real ache in seeing colleagues leave, is something different and deeper. I support each colleague w all my heart, and yet my heart feels all the … Continue reading New Blog Post for AJN: Loss from Nurse Attrition Goes Deeper Than Numbers
I should be at work today. No, I should be home. I’ll spare you the extraneous details around why I ended up calling out from work today because we didn’t have childcare coverage for our kids, who are now out on summer break. As guilty as I feel, given that the unit sounds a bit … Continue reading Exhausted, Grateful Nurse-Moms, I See You.
We've had a number of very sad and sobering deaths in our pediatric ICU as of late. Some were kids who were only just recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, who decompensated more quickly than anyone was prepared for. Some were kids who had been dealing with a chronic illness for years and were in … Continue reading Ode to Fellow Nurses
It's International Nurses' Day, and it feels bittersweet this week to celebrate this profession that we deeply love and deeply wrestle with, particularly at this moment in history. So many of us find ourselves asking, "Why am I still here in nursing?" I ask myself that more than ever - not because I have any … Continue reading Remember Why You Are Here