A letter to my long time patient’s mom — You were trapped in the fishbowl of our ICU. You went from a numb stare to near catatonic with grief to terse and closed in to opening your door a crack to pouring your heart out, telling me stories, speaking of fears and hopes and uncertainties … Continue reading Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
caregiving
A Story About Paying Attention
If I may be perfectly honest with you, I love lighter nursing shifts. Maybe because they are so few and far between in our PICU. Maybe because my to-do list with work and extracurricular nursing projects is never-ending, so I welcome any down time I have in my shifts to chip away at those, rather … Continue reading A Story About Paying Attention
Upcoming Grief Workshop for Caregivers
Caregiving can be laden with layers of complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions. So many losses can go unrecognized, and can leave caregivers feeling unseen. So grateful to partner with Pinelawn Memorial Park and Arboretum, and COPE Foundation, to offer this free online workshop offering caregivers a space to be heard. This workshop will give us … Continue reading Upcoming Grief Workshop for Caregivers
In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
One of the most difficult things about trying to be empathetic, engaged and informed with all that has been going on with both our local Los Angeles wildfire devastation as well as our country's political chaos, is the utter overwhelmedness of so many very serious issues to grapple with all at once. I think most … Continue reading In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
Reflections on Becoming Patient and Caregiver: One Year in Retrospect
It was about a year ago that I moved from the acute phase of breast cancer treatment to long-term hormone therapy. I was relieved to be done with the hardest physical interventions of surgery and radiation, and also so scared about what the hormone changes might do to my mind and heart. Little did I … Continue reading Reflections on Becoming Patient and Caregiver: One Year in Retrospect
The Story of the One Loved
You were conceived, and your mother loved you immediately with her whole heart. In your earliest days, your hair and your face would already be programmed to take on much of your mother’s likeness. But something in your nascent genetics would also go quietly awry, taking you and your mom on a trajectory that some … Continue reading The Story of the One Loved
Wholehearted Nursing vs Codependency
How do you know if you’ve crossed the line from trying to be wholehearted and deeply empathetic, to being co-dependent? This was a question that came up in a couple of conversations at the recent (and incredible!) End Well conference. I’ve thought about it quite a bit over the years, as there is without doubt … Continue reading Wholehearted Nursing vs Codependency
Podcast Episode: A Year of Shocking Diagnoses
What is it like to be an average family - parents and two kids - in which your year begins with the mom receiving a cancer diagnosis, and then the dad suffers a severe spinal cord injury just as the mom moves into remission and preventative hormone therapy? This was our year. For the first … Continue reading Podcast Episode: A Year of Shocking Diagnoses
A Second Medical Crisis in One Year: My Husband’s Story
It was a simple outpatient procedure on Monday, July 24, to assess some airway and swallowing issues. Without going into excessive detail, the procedure seemed straightforward and my husband came home the same day with just the expected post-op soreness. But a couple of days after the procedure, his symptoms morphed from soreness in his … Continue reading A Second Medical Crisis in One Year: My Husband’s Story
Brief thoughts on walking with those who grieve and suffer
If someone comes to you carrying 200 pounds and says, "I've been carrying a heavy load for a while and I hurt," don't say, "At least you're not carrying 300 pounds!" or "Look on the bright side!" or "I don't know how you do it." Acknowledge the weight. Help carry some. Facilitate their rest.
The Heart of Nursing 