I hit my 15 year anniversary as a PICU nurse over the weekend. This was a few days after we said goodbye to some of our most beloved senior nurses in our unit, after their positions were eliminated at the hospital due to all the budgeting constraints from nationwide political pressures. I've found myself reflecting … Continue reading Fifteen Years as a PICU Nurse: When the Romance Fades
resilience
When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
In a recent harrowing shift and the subsequent “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” day after, I found myself wondering what was really behind some feelings in me that we generally label “burnout.” Did I just not care enough about my patient and her family to consider all the hard work more … Continue reading When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
On Suppressing Professional Grief
“Help needed stat in 3117” I was resource nurse and saw the text. I looked over to 3117 and saw the commotion of people outside the room. They’d already pulled the crash cart over and I knew right away that no other needs - my colleague’s break relief, another neighbor’s request for help with a … Continue reading On Suppressing Professional Grief
The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
I would venture to say that two attributes we all have in common in the pediatric ICU (and nursing in general) are our affinity to be problem-solvers in tough situations, and to be comforters to the suffering. These attributes are what make us all so good at our jobs. They likely also exacerbate our distress … Continue reading The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
I still don't know how to answer the question, "How is work?" I show up to the church courtyard on Sundays the same way anyone else does after a full week. Full of things on my mind, wanting connection, not always sure how to build bridges in brief five-minute conversations with people I love, not … Continue reading The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
A Note from/for the Weary Nurse, April 2025
It's been hard to write. But I put this down on another social media site, and thought I would share it here. We are not just nurse-robots that come to work. We are whole people, carrying other burdens on our shoulders from our personal lives, trying to show up the best we can for our … Continue reading A Note from/for the Weary Nurse, April 2025
I Don’t Know How You Do Your Job
After some particularly meaningful patient care experiences in the last few weeks, I've found my mind coming back to the comment we PICU staff often hear from the general public, "I don't know how you do your job." There are endless strings we could pull on, in unpacking that comment and our responses, but here … Continue reading I Don’t Know How You Do Your Job
How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
When I and my husband had our back-to-back medical crises in 2023, me getting a breast cancer diagnosis followed by him getting a severe spinal cord injury resulting from the most random epidural abscess, I continued working through the bulk of that entire year (minus a week for post-op lumpectomy recovery, and the month I … Continue reading How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
On Collective, Systemic Grief as an ICU Nurse
Those who have been following my public work over the years know that it started off with a desire to bring voice to - and integrate - the individual grief that we carry on behalf of our patients. When COVID hit, nurses began to grapple with entirely different levels of grief. Particularly for my incredible … Continue reading On Collective, Systemic Grief as an ICU Nurse
Persevering through Hard Seasons as a Nurse
There is more going on than I know how to put words to. The wildfires have ravaged Los Angeles. My home and family are safe, but I could see the flames glowing six miles north of me, which was beyond bizarre and disorienting. I know more dear friends than I would like who have lost … Continue reading Persevering through Hard Seasons as a Nurse
The Heart of Nursing 