“What would you do, doctor?” The family had been explicit in wanting straightforward communication about their child, whose neurological disease had progressed to the point where she was continually seizing, despite every medication the physicians had tried. The seizures were in turn damaging her brain, such that she was minimally responsive to stimuli and was … Continue reading The Ethical Use of our Therapeutic Connections with Patients’ Families
pediatric nursing
Fifteen Years as a PICU Nurse: When the Romance Fades
I hit my 15 year anniversary as a PICU nurse over the weekend. This was a few days after we said goodbye to some of our most beloved senior nurses in our unit, after their positions were eliminated at the hospital due to all the budgeting constraints from nationwide political pressures. I've found myself reflecting … Continue reading Fifteen Years as a PICU Nurse: When the Romance Fades
When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
In a recent harrowing shift and the subsequent “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” day after, I found myself wondering what was really behind some feelings in me that we generally label “burnout.” Did I just not care enough about my patient and her family to consider all the hard work more … Continue reading When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
In my TEDTalk from 2017, I made a comment about grief being a powerful teacher. I've been asked for elaboration on this statement a number of times since then, and I always pause in my response because I know it's true, but it's deep and difficult to explain on the spot. But it deserves a … Continue reading Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
A letter to my long time patient’s mom — You were trapped in the fishbowl of our ICU. You went from a numb stare to near catatonic with grief to terse and closed in to opening your door a crack to pouring your heart out, telling me stories, speaking of fears and hopes and uncertainties … Continue reading Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
On Suppressing Professional Grief
“Help needed stat in 3117” I was resource nurse and saw the text. I looked over to 3117 and saw the commotion of people outside the room. They’d already pulled the crash cart over and I knew right away that no other needs - my colleague’s break relief, another neighbor’s request for help with a … Continue reading On Suppressing Professional Grief
Lessons from Camp Nursing, Round Two
On paper, I have only ever been a pediatric ICU nurse ever since I started in this profession almost 15 years ago. But I have realized more and more over time that we can wear so many hats, once entrusted with our licensure, and this is an incredible privilege and responsibility. This past summer, I … Continue reading Lessons from Camp Nursing, Round Two
The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
I still don't know how to answer the question, "How is work?" I show up to the church courtyard on Sundays the same way anyone else does after a full week. Full of things on my mind, wanting connection, not always sure how to build bridges in brief five-minute conversations with people I love, not … Continue reading The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
I Don’t Know How You Do Your Job
After some particularly meaningful patient care experiences in the last few weeks, I've found my mind coming back to the comment we PICU staff often hear from the general public, "I don't know how you do your job." There are endless strings we could pull on, in unpacking that comment and our responses, but here … Continue reading I Don’t Know How You Do Your Job
How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
When I and my husband had our back-to-back medical crises in 2023, me getting a breast cancer diagnosis followed by him getting a severe spinal cord injury resulting from the most random epidural abscess, I continued working through the bulk of that entire year (minus a week for post-op lumpectomy recovery, and the month I … Continue reading How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
The Heart of Nursing 