I hit my 15 year anniversary as a PICU nurse over the weekend. This was a few days after we said goodbye to some of our most beloved senior nurses in our unit, after their positions were eliminated at the hospital due to all the budgeting constraints from nationwide political pressures. I've found myself reflecting … Continue reading Fifteen Years as a PICU Nurse: When the Romance Fades
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When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
In a recent harrowing shift and the subsequent “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” day after, I found myself wondering what was really behind some feelings in me that we generally label “burnout.” Did I just not care enough about my patient and her family to consider all the hard work more … Continue reading When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
In my TEDTalk from 2017, I made a comment about grief being a powerful teacher. I've been asked for elaboration on this statement a number of times since then, and I always pause in my response because I know it's true, but it's deep and difficult to explain on the spot. But it deserves a … Continue reading Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
A letter to my long time patient’s mom — You were trapped in the fishbowl of our ICU. You went from a numb stare to near catatonic with grief to terse and closed in to opening your door a crack to pouring your heart out, telling me stories, speaking of fears and hopes and uncertainties … Continue reading Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
Lessons from Camp Nursing, Round Two
On paper, I have only ever been a pediatric ICU nurse ever since I started in this profession almost 15 years ago. But I have realized more and more over time that we can wear so many hats, once entrusted with our licensure, and this is an incredible privilege and responsibility. This past summer, I … Continue reading Lessons from Camp Nursing, Round Two
The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
I would venture to say that two attributes we all have in common in the pediatric ICU (and nursing in general) are our affinity to be problem-solvers in tough situations, and to be comforters to the suffering. These attributes are what make us all so good at our jobs. They likely also exacerbate our distress … Continue reading The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
Advocating for Public Health Begins with Knowing Your Neighbor
Like so many, I've felt somewhat helpless about all the threats to public health, and all the harm to vulnerable persons happening large scale. But this week, just in my neighborhood, I talked to my gardener who is not getting his fair share of wages from clients who keep saying, "I'll pay you later." Four … Continue reading Advocating for Public Health Begins with Knowing Your Neighbor
The Living Components of the Healthcare System
*This post is adapted from an article I wrote for our pediatric ICU's quarterly newsletter. Being a healthcare worker involves increasingly more than caring for the physical patients and their parents. It also involves giving attention to the system as a ‘patient’ of sorts, with its own temperament, ailings and needs. What’s curious is that … Continue reading The Living Components of the Healthcare System
Nurse’s Week Tribute, May 2025
Nurses. More than just workhorses. We are the jubilant attendant at a baby’s first breath, the diligent guard of the unstable, the lonely attendant in postmortem care. We intuitively adapt to all types of people: the poor, the rich, the kind, the offensive, the grateful, the bitter, the safe, the terrifying, the sweet, the perverse, … Continue reading Nurse’s Week Tribute, May 2025
The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
I still don't know how to answer the question, "How is work?" I show up to the church courtyard on Sundays the same way anyone else does after a full week. Full of things on my mind, wanting connection, not always sure how to build bridges in brief five-minute conversations with people I love, not … Continue reading The Impossibility of Explaining a Day in the Life of PICU Nursing
The Heart of Nursing 