We had all just started our shift when the code bells alarmed. We ran to the room, and someone was already performing CPR. After several rounds, our Attending Physician sadly announced the time of death and we braced ourselves for the mom's agonizing screams. Our chaplain, social worker, respiratory therapist, care partners, and physician colleagues … Continue reading Sharing in the Loneliness of Extraordinary Suffering: A Nurse’s Quiet Burden
compassion
Healthcare Workers are from Mars, Patients and Families are from Venus
Earlier this week, a panel of colleagues at my hospital participated in an Ethics Grand Rounds where they discussed the topic, "When Parents Question Our Expertise: Trust Alliance, and Boundaries in Pediatric Care." As you can imagine, the conversation was full of stories about tensions with patients' family members, personal/shared struggles when we feel fractures … Continue reading Healthcare Workers are from Mars, Patients and Families are from Venus
When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
In a recent harrowing shift and the subsequent “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” day after, I found myself wondering what was really behind some feelings in me that we generally label “burnout.” Did I just not care enough about my patient and her family to consider all the hard work more … Continue reading When Empathy and Desire to Help Others are not Enough to Fuel Nursing
Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
In my TEDTalk from 2017, I made a comment about grief being a powerful teacher. I've been asked for elaboration on this statement a number of times since then, and I always pause in my response because I know it's true, but it's deep and difficult to explain on the spot. But it deserves a … Continue reading Grief as a Teacher (revisited)
Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
A letter to my long time patient’s mom — You were trapped in the fishbowl of our ICU. You went from a numb stare to near catatonic with grief to terse and closed in to opening your door a crack to pouring your heart out, telling me stories, speaking of fears and hopes and uncertainties … Continue reading Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
When I and my husband had our back-to-back medical crises in 2023, me getting a breast cancer diagnosis followed by him getting a severe spinal cord injury resulting from the most random epidural abscess, I continued working through the bulk of that entire year (minus a week for post-op lumpectomy recovery, and the month I … Continue reading How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
A Story About Paying Attention
If I may be perfectly honest with you, I love lighter nursing shifts. Maybe because they are so few and far between in our PICU. Maybe because my to-do list with work and extracurricular nursing projects is never-ending, so I welcome any down time I have in my shifts to chip away at those, rather … Continue reading A Story About Paying Attention
When Vaccine-Skeptic Friends Reached Out for Medical Advice: A Story of Hope in Tumultuous Times
At the start of this politically tumultuous 2025, I felt I needed to learn to have conversations with people who think very differently than me. As strong as my convictions were about plenty of things, I knew I needed to remember the humanity of people who have vastly different perspectives than mine. I also frankly … Continue reading When Vaccine-Skeptic Friends Reached Out for Medical Advice: A Story of Hope in Tumultuous Times
In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
One of the most difficult things about trying to be empathetic, engaged and informed with all that has been going on with both our local Los Angeles wildfire devastation as well as our country's political chaos, is the utter overwhelmedness of so many very serious issues to grapple with all at once. I think most … Continue reading In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
The Christmas Hospital Story that Stays With Me
Weary and slightly bewildered from an unexpected month in the hospital, her eyes also shone with eagerness and relief that they were one big step away from going home, just in time for Christmas. But it was her poise that stood out to me. A quiet strength that carried the unbelievable story of an athlete … Continue reading The Christmas Hospital Story that Stays With Me
The Heart of Nursing 