A letter to my long time patient’s mom — You were trapped in the fishbowl of our ICU. You went from a numb stare to near catatonic with grief to terse and closed in to opening your door a crack to pouring your heart out, telling me stories, speaking of fears and hopes and uncertainties … Continue reading Walking Closely with Families: A Letter
caregiving
The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
I would venture to say that two attributes we all have in common in the pediatric ICU (and nursing in general) are our affinity to be problem-solvers in tough situations, and to be comforters to the suffering. These attributes are what make us all so good at our jobs. They likely also exacerbate our distress … Continue reading The Year I Almost Walked Out on the Job
Participate in the Survey for Grief Sensitive Healthcare Project
"What do I even do as the nurse with this devastated family right now?" When I was in nursing school, I didn't receive any formal training in how to sit with deeply grieving patients and families. I remember one brief exercise in empathy during an ethics class, where my classmates and I awkwardly role-played and … Continue reading Participate in the Survey for Grief Sensitive Healthcare Project
How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
When I and my husband had our back-to-back medical crises in 2023, me getting a breast cancer diagnosis followed by him getting a severe spinal cord injury resulting from the most random epidural abscess, I continued working through the bulk of that entire year (minus a week for post-op lumpectomy recovery, and the month I … Continue reading How My Patients and Families Help Me in Seasons of Suffering
A Story About Paying Attention
If I may be perfectly honest with you, I love lighter nursing shifts. Maybe because they are so few and far between in our PICU. Maybe because my to-do list with work and extracurricular nursing projects is never-ending, so I welcome any down time I have in my shifts to chip away at those, rather … Continue reading A Story About Paying Attention
Upcoming Grief Workshop for Caregivers
Caregiving can be laden with layers of complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions. So many losses can go unrecognized, and can leave caregivers feeling unseen. So grateful to partner with Pinelawn Memorial Park and Arboretum, and COPE Foundation, to offer this free online workshop offering caregivers a space to be heard. This workshop will give us … Continue reading Upcoming Grief Workshop for Caregivers
In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
One of the most difficult things about trying to be empathetic, engaged and informed with all that has been going on with both our local Los Angeles wildfire devastation as well as our country's political chaos, is the utter overwhelmedness of so many very serious issues to grapple with all at once. I think most … Continue reading In Times of Overwhelm as a Nurse, Begin with One Intentional Act at a Time
Reflections on Becoming Patient and Caregiver: One Year in Retrospect
It was about a year ago that I moved from the acute phase of breast cancer treatment to long-term hormone therapy. I was relieved to be done with the hardest physical interventions of surgery and radiation, and also so scared about what the hormone changes might do to my mind and heart. Little did I … Continue reading Reflections on Becoming Patient and Caregiver: One Year in Retrospect
The Story of the One Loved
You were conceived, and your mother loved you immediately with her whole heart. In your earliest days, your hair and your face would already be programmed to take on much of your mother’s likeness. But something in your nascent genetics would also go quietly awry, taking you and your mom on a trajectory that some … Continue reading The Story of the One Loved
The Tensions We Constantly Navigate as Healthcare Workers
My therapist recently noted how much inner work and wrestling I must be constantly doing as a nurse, without being fully aware of what is rumbling underneath the surface. Today I find myself feeling really tender, and I’ve got a feeling it’s because of the recent accumulation of patient stories that have gone unpacked, evoking … Continue reading The Tensions We Constantly Navigate as Healthcare Workers
The Heart of Nursing 